Bracknell Half - Lemsip Special

The Bracknell Half has been running for 34 years.

I've lived in the area for 40 years.

Seems odd that I've never run it before.

Oh hang on up until a couple of years ago I wouldn't even run to the end of the road. Forgot for a second. It makes sense now.

Anyway this was the first year I'd give it a try. I'd heard it was hilly but so what? I plod round these roads all the time, I knew what to expect, and feeling confident following my first ever sub 2 at Thorpe back in February I was confidently predicting a new pb. Didn't quite go according to plan.

Initially I'd planned to run at least 5k every day for the duration of May, but by day 10 I realised I was pretty fatigued and if I wanted to enjoy the half I'd better take a couple of days off. Cue the world's shortest taper.

Day 11 and my throat is feeling a bit scratchy. But I've got tickets to see the incredible Brothers Osbourne in Camden and that's going to be a party and a half. Made the most of that.

Day 12 and I can't even drag myself out of bed. Hangover didn't help but we are talking proper manflu. Start dosing up on Lemsip and preparing myself for the disappointment of not being able to even start the race. Get my kit together but don't really believe I'll run.

Day 13 is race day. Wake up feeling not toooooo bad so I Lemsip up, leave the house at the last minute telling Serena that I'll probably take about 2 and a half hours so she won't have any rush to meet me for lunch.

I get to the start which is in Bracknell's newly redeveloped town centre known as The Lexicon. After my standard fifteen or twenty trips for a wee before the start (it's not just me right? Is it?) I shuffle my way to the back of the pack as I'm really not feeling it and definitely don't want to go off too quickly.

At 9am we set off and of course I immediately need another wee. Well stupid bladder will have to wait until I finish or run past a big enough bush.

We head from Waitrose up through the pedestrianised area in town and out through one of Bracknell's many underpasses. Start to think I was a bit cautious in opting to start so far back as the bottleneck meant we basically started walking. My Garmin told me my predicted finish time was around 2h20m but I'd mentally checked out of any targets and just decided to enjoy the run in sunny but not too hot conditions. Good job too as it's not a fully roads closed event so you have to stick to the pavement and getting past people in the first couple of miles is a chore, especially as there is a slow uphill section in the first couple of miles. I wasn't paying attention to my watch but I was playing ping-pong with the 2h15m pacers so I had a vague idea what I was on for my the time the second mile marker came around.

The course itself is nice if unremarkable, although maybe that's because I'm so familiar with the area. What does stand out though is the level of local support. The route runs close to a lot of residential areas and it's very much a locals event so people were out along almost the entire route offering support, jelly babies, and kids wanting high fives. Top tip - if energy is flagging mid race high five a child.

It's also worth mentioning the marshalls, there were apparently 250 of them making sure we didn't take any wrong turns or get hit by cars as we ran across junctions. Bracknell can feel like a bit of a maze so having them out on course pointing the way was essential. The organisers had also ensured that there were more than enough water stations dishing out paper cups of water and wet sponges. I always carry my own hydration but the sponges in the later sections as the day warmed up were very welcome.

And guess what? By mile 10 I wasn't feeling the effects of the manflu at all and I dared check my Garmin (I knew I'd dropped the 215 funbus ages ago) - couldn't believe it I was close to hitting a 2 hour finish. The final 5k would need to be solid by my standards but with Maiden's Rime of the Ancient Mariner kicking in I figured I was up for it. Didn't figure on there being a couple of extra uphill sections to deal with though, nothing major but enough to put a drag on your pace, ah well it was worth a shot, really enjoyed the run anyway and considering the fatigue and the lurgy it was a good day's running...

...

... except ...

...

As I entered the Lexicon for the final L shaped stretch through the town centre the support from the crowd was brilliant and I found myself sprinting to the finish line. Honestly if you asked me to run 100m on fresh legs I doubt I'd be any quicker. I was flying. It was like I'd robbed Fenwicks and was making my escape while being chased down by the rozzers. I was Mo Farah, Daley Thompson, and Zola Budd rolled into one...


...Chip time 1h 59m 58 sec! I'd only gone and nailed my second ever sub 2!!

Feels good man.

And in case you're wondering I didn't even need to stop for a wee in the end, although was was tempted to nip in and use the facilities as we ran past my gym. Glad I didn't though or I'd never have seen this sweet Strava notification.

Thank you Bracknell, definitely one I'll be including in my list of regular races from now on. It starts a couple of miles from my house, rude not to.

Running dreams

So, last night I had this dream about all sorts of disjointed plots. A weird holiday in a brutalist architected city, old friends, poltergeist activity, excess baggage, and a side plot about running hill reps on an old dirt road called Devil's Highway.

The thing is, unlike most things from that dream, Devil's Highway is actually a place that runs right up into Swinley Forest. And it's actually about a mile from my house.

Well that's all the encouragement I needed. Off I went.

I know Devil's quite well, not only because I run round that part of Swinley Forest quite a lot in the summer but also because it was where we'd all meet up to *ahem* smoke mindbenders back in the day. So I'm familiar with it's undulations and knew there would be 3 decent sized hills for me to run up. As I ran a nice easy pace up to the start of the the Highway I decided my plan of attack would be get to the first hill, lay a marker down (jabbing a stick into the ground for the non-technical amongst you), sprint as hard as I could to the top of the hill, turn around and do a very easy pace back to my marker. Do this 3 times I each hill and I'd have gone for 9 blasts up some fairly rude inclines. After that just a little plod round Caeser's Camp in Swinley Forest and back home.

Wow. Sweaty workout that. If you saw Sir Mo at the end of the London Marathon today that's basically what I looked like after the third time up the third hill. Well like that but fatter, whiter, and with more hair. I was sweating and had to stop to catch my breath is what I'm saying. Also did some pissing about with the runselfie before uploading it to Strava to keep it in with the theme of the run.

Speaking of London I guess I need to resign myself to the fact that I'm never going to run that marathon.

1. I'm not generally lucky enough to win a ballot place (I know this is superstitious bullshit and I have as much chance as everyone else but I never seem to win things like that so I'm claiming it as fact)
2. I'm not fast enough to get a Good For Age time and I can't imagine that I ever will be. Right now I'm about 1h45m away from the GFA for my age bracket, and now that they've changed the GFA from guaranteed entry to entry into a different ballot essentially then see point 1.
3. Charity places aren't really viable. The organisers charge charities so much for their entries that they then have to pass it on to the runners in the form of minimum fundraising contracts. Yes in theory I could get a charity place but having run a few marathons and an ultra already without asking for sponsorship people I know generally reckon a marathon is a stroll in the park for me (it so fucking isn't btw just look at my PBs and splits) and that perception would make fundraising really hard. I'd have to do it dressed as a fucking anvil or something to make people perceive it as a challenge worth sponsoring and that isn't why I run.

Seems like I'm quite bitter doesn't it? To be honest I'm not really, there are plenty of brilliant races around but I do get a bit envious of people who get to run "The Marathon". I'll keep doing the ballot and maybe one year it will come up for me, and if I really really really wanted to run it that badly I'd find a way to fundraise.

The folks I do feel really sorry for though are the GFA qualifiers. I can only imagine the years of dedication and the intensity of the winter training, not to mention the good fortune to stay free of injury when pushing so hard, to hit the current qualifying times and to go through that and not even know whether you have a guaranteed place - brutal. Even worse if you just sneaked in with a GFA in Brighton or Manchester this year thinking of London 2019 - well soz you are shit outta luck my friend as they changed the goalposts literally the day after those races.

So not only is the London Marathon a massive charity fleecing scam but it's quite happy to take the piss out of the very runners who feed it. Fuck you London, I still want to run you though!

Strava routes on the Garmin Fenix 3. A whole new world!

This year with the Brighton Marathon back in April and the Bath Two Tunnel 50km coming up next week I've been pretty much cycling on and off 16 week training programmes since January. This means almost every Sunday has been a "long run" day and as you can imagine by this point in the year I'm really lacking in inspiration when it comes to leaving my house and picking a route. I've gone every direction so many times it's just sooooo fucking boring and I often find myself just on a plod as a result.

So I was lying in bed this morning wondering where to run. Ten miles-ish was needed. Would I kill my legs on the Swinley Forest hills, plod round the bike paths and underpasses, head off along the Berkshire roads? I knew if I headed out without a plan I'd just be focussing on the route and working out the distance as I ran which connects your mind a bit too much to the distance and makes the run feel like hard work, so I needed to take that away from me and have the thinking pre-done.

That was when I looked at my wrist and remembered there is a navigation mode on the Fenix3 (great watch btw, really bigly uuuuugely good watch, Garmin have the best watches). So if I could just find a way to plot a route, copy it to the watch and see if I could follow it I might end up with more variety in my runs and Garmin said...

Gee thanks Garmin, you are a pal.

So how do I work out a route? I could go to something like mapmyrun and download a gpx but the problem is a lot of the runs on these sites start and end in inconvenient places (people's houses that aren't me and such) so that's annoying. Plus other people are not me and I'm a bit control freaky about these things. So how do I make my own?

Strava in a web browser. That's how. Log in, go to Dashboard > My  Routes > New Route and you can start clicking on the map to build a run. The beauty of Strava is it has so much data about where other people are running that it will build a route between two points based on where other people tend to run so the chances of you being directed down a motorway or train track are pretty slim.

Anyway five minutes of clicking about and I had my nice 10 mile loop planned, it was a route I've never run before, and even took in a footbridge that I never new existed despite having driven under it about 1000 times. Nice.

So next challenge. How do I get it on my watch? Well the Fenix3 makes it so easy.

• Dock it in the USB
• Plug it in to your mac/pc
• If/When prompted enable Mass Storage mode on the Fenix3
• When it appears as a drive open it and then open the Garmin folder
• Check that there is a folder called Newfiles - it's hidden so if you can't see it ask Doctor Google how to view hidden files on your operating system
• Open your running route in Strava
• Click Export GPX and save it to your desktop
• Copy it to your Newfiles folder on the Fenix3
• Safely eject the device
• Garmin will say it's updating
• Route (Course in Garminspeak) is now saved to the device

Good. So how do you use it?

Well it couldn't be simpler

• Hold the Up key
• Press Down until you get to the Navigation option
• Press Start
• Select Courses
• Select your new course
• Select Do Course
• Choose your profile (e.g. Run)
• Wait for the GPS to find the satellite
• Run like normal but instead of looking at the pace and shit on your wrist you can now look at a funky route plot like this 

OK so it's hardly Google Maps, it won't show you where the nearest pub is or even the roads you are running along but it does do a very good job of keeping you on track. I tried tricking it a couple of times with detours and within a few seconds of heading off course it vibrated on my wrist to warn me. It really did achieve the primary goal of taking all the thinking about the route out of the run. So I could just enjoy the sights like the Bracknell Alps

Lillehammer has nothing on the John Nike

I just want a fondue now

So there we go. Had a nice 10 mile run. Came home. Ate a slice of cake. Hashtag Sunday mofos.